Some Advice from my Mum
How do we define what happiness means for us as individuals and how do we know when we feel it? Here's some advice from my incredible, seasoned-with-life, mother.
Life is a journey of ups and downs, peaks and valleys, and obstacles along the way for some more than others. People deal with these obstacles in different ways; in their own way. One minute, life seems to be wonderful, the next, disaster may strike and we feel lost and unable to cope.
“I’ve had almost 58 years of life, and when I look back, I think about how lucky I am. That’s not to say that every moment of every day, month, or year has been wonderful. On the contrary, in fact.”
The problem is many of us compare our lives to others’. Someone else’s life may appear to be perfect and “rosy”, but remember people’s posts on social media is not always an indication of how wonderful their life is! It may be wonderful at that particular time, but everyone has a story. This is what makes life — for lack of a better word — “interesting”.
I’ve had almost 58 years of life, and when I look back, I think about how lucky I am. That’s not to say that every moment of every day, month, or year has been wonderful. On the contrary, in fact. Like most people, I’ve had my share of ups and downs. However, what makes a difference is how we choose to deal with the not-so-wonderful moments of life. I am not a trained therapist or psychologist. I am writing from my own, personal experiences. Here are some ways that I’ve dealt with negativity in my life.
The Law of Attraction
Firstly, have you ever heard of the “law of attraction”? The law of attraction is the magnetic power of the universe that draws similar energies together. The law of attraction manifests through thoughts and ideas. According to this, having good and positive thoughts should attract only goodness and positivity. As human beings living in today’s world, we cannot walk around with permanent smiles on our faces and have positive thoughts all the time! But what we can do, is control how we react to negative situations.
I believe that when you experience a negative event and you feel full of anger, hatred, and resentment, that anger, hatred, and resentment exists ONLY inside of you. It is ONLY you who will suffer the consequences of having that negative feeling. Living with negativity can manifest itself in the form of illness and disease. So go through your negative feelings and then LET THEM GO! Yes, that’s easier said than done, but by holding on to your negative thoughts, you are only hurting yourself.
“What we can do, is control how we react to negative situations.”
As much as you can, focus on and visualize the good things in your life that you have and wish to have. That may sound a little ridiculous, but speaking from personal experience, you will be surprised how this thought process can make you feel happier and ultimately be life-changing. I believe that by sending positive thoughts into the universe you will be attracting positivity into your life. This is the power of the law of attraction.
Always be Present
Secondly, always be present. Without even really realizing it, many of us are constantly thinking of things unrelated to the present moment. We are either living in the past or the future. The past has gone. It no longer exists. In the same way, the future does not exist because it hasn’t happened yet. So don’t focus on living in the past or future. That does not mean forget all of your past. Continue to have your beautiful memories and reminisce once in a while.
Similarly, continue to plan for your future. I think everyone should do so; therefore, go ahead and make your plans, but don’t dwell or live in it before it has happened. The only thing that is real is this exact moment, so make sure it doesn’t pass by you while your focus is on living in a time that doesn’t exist anymore or hasn’t existed yet. Be fully in the present.
When I feel worried or nervous about some upcoming event, I ask myself, “Why am I worried about something that has not yet happened?”. Instead, I focus on the present moment. I notice the sights, sounds, smells of that precise moment. I find having an awareness of being fully present is strengthening to the mind and the spirit.
“We are either living in the past or the future. The past has gone. It no longer exists. In the same way, the future does not exist because it hasn’t happened yet.”
I have found that my relationships and interactions with people have also improved as a result of being fully present. Times that I have experienced negativity, I tell myself that moment is now in the past. It no longer exists, and it will never exist again in my life. You may have other, similar, experiences but not that particular one ever again. It’s gone, so don’t worry about what has passed. The only thing that is real is the present. The now.
I only have one life to live. No matter how imperfect life can be, I choose not to fill it with negativity. I choose to fill it with as much love and positivity as is humanly possible. I use the law of attraction and the power of being fully in the present moment.
Let me know your thoughts about this article and how you stay present in your everyday lives.